Adam, the father of the universe, once tasted in Paradise the sweetness of God’s love.
But when he was cast out for his sin and deprived of that love,
he suffered bitterly and cried with a great groan across the desert.
His soul was torn by the thought:
“I have offended my beloved God.”
He did not grieve so much for Paradise itself,
nor for its beauty,
but for the loss of God’s love—
that love which draws the soul unceasingly to the Creator.
So it is with every soul that has known God in the Holy Spirit,
but then lost the grace:
it endures Adam’s torment.
The soul is in pain, and grieves deeply
when it offends the Beloved Lord.
Adam was sorrowful on the earth;
the world was no longer sweet to him.
He longed for God and said:
“My soul yearns for the Lord,
and with tears I seek Him.
How can I not seek Him?
When He was with me,
my soul was joyful and at peace,
and the enemy had no power over me.
But now the evil spirit has taken rule,
tormenting and shaking my soul.
Therefore my heart longs for the Lord unto death.
Nothing delights me on earth;
nothing consoles my soul.
I only desire to behold Him again,
to be filled with Him.
I cannot forget Him even for a moment,
and in anguish I cry:
‘Have mercy on me, O God, Thy fallen creature.’
Thus did Adam weep,
tears running down his face to his breast and to the earth.
All the desert listened to his groaning;
the beasts and the birds were silent in sorrow.
Adam wept, for through his sin
the whole world had lost peace and love.
Great was Adam’s grief at his exile from Paradise,
but greater still when he saw Abel, his son,
slain by his brother Cain.
Then he mourned more bitterly, saying:
“From me shall come nations,
and all will suffer,
live in enmity,
and kill one another.”
His grief was vast as the sea—
and only the one who has known the Lord
and felt how greatly He loves us
can understand it.
And I too, having lost grace,
cry out with Adam:
“Be merciful unto me, O Lord.
Grant me the spirit of humility and love.”
